Questioning the Validity and Usefulness of Negative Emotion

This might not be the most popular stance to take, but this is as valid a technique in emotional body healing as any other. This technique is simple, however it runs contrary to what we have been taught by the world, since the time we were born into physical form.

This technique is not for the standard human. Because of the tendency to hold onto the past and to validate negative emotions, this technique can even be considered “advanced”, for self-healing and for the serious spiritual student, magician and metaphysician.

If there is the intellectual curiosity and intuitive knowledge that this technique might hold healing power…BUT, there is still some emotional resistance to this process…step back from this technique and explore other possible obstacles to this concept. Does holding onto the past or holding onto negative emotion seem to justify reacting in any particular way? Are you attached to reacting “normally” to trauma, memory or pain?  Are you really ready to let go of the past?

When we hold onto the past….whether it is because of a singular traumatic event, a repeating pattern or an emotional reaction that we think of as normal… sometimes we do so out of the illogical fear that remembering the past or reliving it in some way will keep us safe, from re-experiencing it the same way, again. This would be fine, if in the constant replay, we didn’t continue to feel (re-experience) the same negative feelings we experienced initially. In some cases, we can’t let go of a trauma or let go of blaming someone for our negative experience, because we haven’t figured out how it happened the first time and therefore how to logically prevent it from happening, again.

When enough time has passed from the initial traumatizing (or upsetting) event, we need to keep in mind that some personal and environmental factors have probably already changed, since that time. If the traumatizing event happened when one was a child and one is now an adult, physically most of us are much stronger, know how to enlist legal and professional help, often have others in our lives who could help prevent the event from occurring in the present time, and have a wealth of resources in terms of information and otherwise that we did not have as children. As far as prevention of a reoccurrence of the event goes, we need to keep in mind that being aware of and utilizing those resources can take place only when one is fully aware of the present moment and not living outside of the current time and place….that is, in one’s mind.

When one is reliving a traumatic (emotionally and/or physically) event in their mind, one is taken out of the present moment. In the present moment, one can be aware of their physical surroundings. If there is a physical danger, one can be aware of the warning clues present, including whichever other factors that might keep one’s self safe or able to escape. If the triggering factors are emotional or mental in nature, staying in the present moment will allow one’s self to stay grounded and clear-thinking, so that they can respond and react in as positive and empowering a way as possible.

Even though it seems counter-intuitive, staying in the trauma of a memory or replaying the constant emotional reference usually does not allow one to get past the mental event. There are the chances that one will EVENTUALLY burn out on a particular emotional reference, given enough repitition, but there is no guarantee and certainly no timeline on when it is supposed to happen. Especially when one can build up other mental associations to justify the replay of the memory or reference.

When the trauma or emotional reference is strong enough to keep a “memory” of sorts repeating in one’s psyche (like an internal mental video loop), then changing the submodalities will help break the repetitive playback. Consciously allow the memory or the visual representation to come into full awareness, complete with all of the sensory elements. Within meditation or imagination, distance yourself physically from the visual image/s–see the scene as becoming separate from your personal body. Change ALL of the sensory elements–if there is any dialog, change the pitch and volume of the voice so that they are more comical and less threatening….with the visual factors, change the colors to pastels, stripes, polka dots, black-and-white….change the texture and temperatures….imagine different tastes in your mouth and odors in your nose….add circus music or any other background music….be creative and see how many sensory elements you can make up and alter. When you are done, take an internal inventory. Do you feel any different towards the initial event? Finally, send the dissociated image far away, maybe into the Sun.

Now, with the traumatic event emotionally deactivated and defused, you are free to explore the various aspects on a more mental level. This will be working with the mental references, in general. For our working example, let us pick something (relatively) less charged. Let us work with Sadness.

Create sacred, safe space using whichever methods you find appropriate. Cleanse the physical space with incense or salt water. Invoke the elements or other spirits. Cast a circle. Whatever seems intuitively correct. In this safe space, center yourself. Either in meditation or free association, ask yourself if Sadness enriches your life in any way. Can you get your goals met through being Sad or expressing Sadness?

Expressing negative emotion works for children. Most feeling adults will attempt to rescue or soothe babies and small children, when they are expressing distress of any sort.  As these children grow, there might be less inclination on the parts of adults to respond to their signs of distress, as they might be seen to be old enough to either take care of their own needs or that they are overreacting to external circumstances.  By the time that they are adults, crying or expressing upset is not necessarily responded to with as much sympathy by the general public.  As a matter of fact, some expressions of neediness can be seen as unappealing and unattractive, rather eliciting distaste or some degree of revulsion by the other surrounding adults.

By the time we become adults, we are not supposed to convey distress in the same way that we did as children.  We might not have been told explicitly to stop expressing a need for rescue….but, to some degree, there might still be that expectation that someone will fix our problems for us, even though we will have learned different ways of asking for rescue….even if it is by trying to manipulate someone else’s emotions into running to our rescue.

When we think we need someone to emotionally rescue us, we force ourselves to stay in that negative emotional space (Sadness) where the emotional cues to non-verbally ask for rescue live (appearing sad or hurt, expressing that through our bodies, facial expressions, tone of voice).  We want someone to satisfy our needs, while we must remain in that Sad, Depressed, Unhappy state.  We cannot ever be satisfied emotionally because we would have to leave that emotional state where all of those childhood tools and techniques are kept.  Once we leave that dependent state, we no longer have access to those tools of expressed distress.  As long as we rely on using those tools, we cannot ever experience anything resembling positive emotion or happiness.

The negative state (Sadness) that we want to be rescued from holds our tools (expressions of Sadness, that hopefully people respond to) for asking for rescue….we cannot use those tools of expressed distress, without being stuck in that sad, negative-emotion state.

What does feeling Sadness get us?  What does expressing Sadness do?  It is a reaction to not having our reality the way that we want it, at the moment–but, metaphysically speaking, positive manifestations cannot be made with negative energies.  It might get us some temporary sympathy….perhaps, it can gain us some attention.  But, ultimately, if the goal is to eventually be happy in any way, expressing Sadness chains us to further Sadness and the need to feel Sad in order to garner sympathy and rescue.

Which is the imaginary goal in using Sadness….is it that by feeling Sad, someone will take pity on us, give us attention, show us how much they care, therefore expressing their Concern, Love or Caring for us?  Most often, people who relate to other people who are Sad are reminded of their own Sadness–present, past, internal or hidden.  There are much more people who react to Sadness by mirroring it in some way, matching it because of the other person expressing it towards them.

More often than not, because of similarity of vibration, Sad people can only resonate with other people who are just as sad or close to being just as Sad.  A victim cannot emotionally resonate with someone who is not some sort of victim, themselves.  Often an emotional victim wishes for someone who will rescue them in a one-sided sort of way, like a lifeguard rescuing someone drowning in water or a paramedic rescuing someone from physical distress.  Unless the relationship is one between psychologist/psychiatrist/professional counselor and client/patient, it is highly unlikely that someone will rescue us the same way in a personal relationship.  The person who is emotionally rescuing us will usually need something back in return or will be off to rescue someone else as soon as we are out of our current level of distress.

In the same meditation session, ask yourself–What are alternatives to Sadness that will help me reach my goals?  Which positive emotions will be more functional?  Is it really practical to be Sad?  What is the positive emotion I would want to gain by showing Sadness to others?  Work with that positive emotion, directly.

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The Energy Model and An Unusual Approach to Love Magick

This approach involves looking at energy in a slightly different way than what we are taught is standard, even in most modern metaphysical schools.  Rather than thinking of the point of manifestation as using energy, visualization and other magickal technique to manifest the physical experience of a romantic relationship, a sexual encounter or a specific person….we are looking at the internal reaction afterwards as the last event, the final manifestation of a scenario.

The manifestation of an object or event in the physical is not the final stage.  It is always the internal reaction of the manifestor/magician that is the true end result.  Once the car is made manifest in reality, the magician responds to the manifestation with positive and/or negative emotions.  Mental realizations come up as everything from a self-affirming “Ohmigosh, I did it.  I am a powerful magician.  The Universe loves me” to the negative “Holy crap.  How can I keep from losing this?  I can’t afford this.”

We change reality–we alter circumstances and conditions, move objects in and out of physical proximity–because we consciously strive to evoke a reaction and subconsciously want to bring our hidden thoughts and feelings to light.  In the perception of the more enlightened magician, all we are trying to do is transform our internal self.  Looking at reality in terms of eventually evoking internal reaction, we are simply trying to remind ourselves, giving ourselves triggers, to remember particular energies.

We are manipulating complicated life-structures to justify our personal perception of particular energies.  These energies are already and have always been in existence.  We are manipulating worldly form to justify the belief that we CAN perceive these energies in our mental and emotional bodies.

Using this model of reasoning, it can be seen that the desire to manifest a Love Relationship is the desire to manipulate enough material circumstance and events in a way which will culminate in manifesting those feelings that one’s psyche associates with being in a Love Relationship.

The frustration that the magician can feel before the Love Relationship is manifested (“not real, yet”) and/or the frustration that the magician can feel when they attempted to manifest the Love Relationship (and it didn’t happen or didn’t happen exactly as consciously requested) is….using the Energy Model of Magick….the justification of the false belief that the mage cannot access those particular “emotional” energies that one has associated with Love Relationships.

To make this more concrete, let us start with a common example.  Let us assume that one has associated feeling Adored with the experience of being in a Love Relationship.    Although, we can sense any and all energies, regardless of physical scenarios….let us work with this example to break down the idea that a seeming lack of the physical experience of a Love Relationship can prevent the mage from any desired internal experience.  Let us work with this concept of association more directly to defuse any of its previously-held power over us, especially on a more subconscious level.  Not everyone can jump to the idea that all happiness comes from self or The Universe.  Some of us still work with the association of feelings to material-world events and objects.

Rather than believing that I cannot possibly be Adored until I am in a Romantic Relationship, and until I am experiencing particular acts with or hearing particular dialog from my Beloved–I am questioning what I previously thought a Romantic Relationship held for me….that I could not experience without it.  With honest questioning and reflection, I have come up with a list of feelings and convictions (feeling loved, the ecstasy of good sex, feeling whole, being content, feeling cared for)….and among them is the feeling that I am adored by someone.

Now, that I am aware of what essences, concepts and energies that I have mentally hidden on the other side of successfully manifesting a material-world event….I am ready to work with these concepts on another level.  Using our target of feeling Adored, I can recognize that it is actually the internal experience of those particular feelings that I really want.  As a spiritual being, I fully recognize that I am able to sense any and all energies, including those of Adoration.  I can do a full ceremony, invoking a magick circle and calling elements or guardians.  If I choose to work with Adoration in an energy meditation, that is also acceptable.

I can sense Adoration as an essence or vibration of The Universe.  I can feel how far this energy extends.  If I want to, I can play with other associations–the color of the energy of Adoration…and other associations that can manifest from that energy (such as animal spirits, elemental associations, and so on).  I would free associate during the meditation itself, rather than research or plan ahead before the meditation.  These would ensure more personal triggers and possibly give further insight to other personal associations.

Do this for all of the energies associated with the manifestation of a Love Relationship.  Once all of the energies have been worked with, note which changes have been made internally and possibly, in the external.  Repeat this cycle of energy work.  See what happens.

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Evolution, Entertainment and Escapism–Being A Genuine Person In A Metaphysical World

When I first joined a coven, I had the impression that every other pagan that I knew had the same goal as I did.  I might have described it differently back then, but the intention I had was to realize my Oneness with Deity.  Enlightenment was my primary goal.  Practicing metaphysics and magick was a pathway towards the treasures of spirituality.  My secondary goal of being a magickal adept was a means to eliminate my sense of worldly limitation, all of the negative distractions that could get in my way, so that I could instead focus more on spiritual realities.

I noticed that a lot of Witches and Magicians confused Magick with Spirituality.  Some systems talk about Low Magick and High Magick, but even making those distinctions can lead to some mix up among the magicians.  Not that there is anything wrong with Low Magick, Earth Magick….or magick of any sort of type.  But, if your goal is Spirituality, it is best to understand that magick is not the same creature….it can lend to spirituality, lead to it, but just because you are performing magick, it does not guarantee that you are going to have a spiritual experience.

A Spiritual Experience, as I understand it, is experience of Oneness with Spirit, The Supreme Reality, The Universe, The Ultimate Deity.  It is that complete blending of “self” with The Universal Self, that is experienced as Wholeness.  We can reach this ultimate experience when we are meditating.  We can slip into this state when we are experiencing magick or the positive feelings that come after magickal ritual or manifestation, as a sort of meditation.

According to some models of reality, we experience the world around us because the physical world is a reflection of convictions, beliefs and attitudes that we carry around in our mental and emotional bodies.  The physical world is a reflection of what we have inside of our psyches, conscious and subconscious thoughts and feelings.  Magick is simply the process of consciously choosing to change what we observe, perceive and experience through our senses.  It might not be the easiest process for everyone to perform, but this is the straightforward definition of the procedure.

Spirituality is being aware of and resting in our nature as Spiritual Beings.  Being aware of our spiritual nature is being aware of the Oneness with Spirit, experienced as Love, Omnipresence and Peace.

As human beings, experiencing a human life, all of the conditions of being human are based on limiting awareness of being a Spiritual Person.  That’s completely fine, if that is your choice.  And the ratio to which there is human-limitation/spiritual-awareness is completely individual and fine.  Any self-definition which is not bringing your awareness to a state of all-encompassing Peace, Love and Omnipresence is based on worldly limitation.  Enjoy being human.  But, don’t profess that a human experience is a spiritual one.  They are not the same and they don’t need to be.

There are some manifestations and some fantasies in this world that are purely for entertainment purposes.  They will not lead to enlightenment.  They are not supposed to be.  Choose entertainment, but do not try to pass it off as anything else.  In my hometown, our local Catholic Church has recently become a bit more charismatic in their practices.  It is really none of my business, but I keep in mind that these are people who might not be able to relate to my spiritual experiences if we converse about meditative experiences.

Some of them might enter a meditative state through dynamic meditation, but there is no guarantee that that is what is happening.  With the singing, loud music, dancing and clapping–they could be enjoying the equivalent to the euphoria of a music concert or a good jog.  Given, meditation can happen through adoration of any ideal, if the adoration is used a technique of meditation…but, there is no open training on meditative technique in the local church.

It is entirely possible to enjoy a church service, but it is not the same thing as having a spiritual experience.

Spiritual Oneness is complete satisfaction.  It is the state of Fullness, Wholeness, Completeness.  It is perfectly fine to experience and enjoy the manifest world, but keep in mind that the internal experience of complete Happiness is not to be found in the material world.  If you want it here in the physical world, stop complaining that you can’t find it IN the material world, that someone (or everyone) isn’t bringing it to you.  Experience it in the Spiritual World and bring it down to this world, as a spiritual gift.

On a related note, trying to validate specialness by citing physical-world details or claims also does not equate to Spiritual awareness.  The metaphysical communities are full of people who love to list their lineages, alleged (spiritual) parentage, degrees, training, philosophies….Some people have the impression that a description, factoid or claim equates to specialness in some way.  And by being special, particular treatment by others and/or the universe is guaranteed to follow.

Just because I am related to someone on the local City Council does not mean that I have any political influence in my community.  My Father having a lot of money does not mean that I have any of it.  My Grandmother and my Mother were wise and inspirational, during their time on Earth–that doesn’t guarantee that I will always come off the same way. I can claim all of the intelligence, metaphysical knowledge, identity as a Vampire/Wizard/Dark Fairy, psychic powers, magickal powers….I can make claims about anything.  I can even talk someone into having an emotional reaction to any of those claims.  However, talk is still cheap….even in the metaphysical communities.

Demonstration of Centeredness, Calm and Peace is so much more powerful and practical than long, drawn-out stories of events or circumstances that might not EVER be played out for the listener.  Demonstration of deep Peace speaks volumes.

 

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