Questioning the Validity and Usefulness of Negative Emotion

This might not be the most popular stance to take, but this is as valid a technique in emotional body healing as any other. This technique is simple, however it runs contrary to what we have been taught by the world, since the time we were born into physical form.

This technique is not for the standard human. Because of the tendency to hold onto the past and to validate negative emotions, this technique can even be considered “advanced”, for self-healing and for the serious spiritual student, magician and metaphysician.

If there is the intellectual curiosity and intuitive knowledge that this technique might hold healing power…BUT, there is still some emotional resistance to this process…step back from this technique and explore other possible obstacles to this concept. Does holding onto the past or holding onto negative emotion seem to justify reacting in any particular way? Are you attached to reacting “normally” to trauma, memory or pain?  Are you really ready to let go of the past?

When we hold onto the past….whether it is because of a singular traumatic event, a repeating pattern or an emotional reaction that we think of as normal… sometimes we do so out of the illogical fear that remembering the past or reliving it in some way will keep us safe, from re-experiencing it the same way, again. This would be fine, if in the constant replay, we didn’t continue to feel (re-experience) the same negative feelings we experienced initially. In some cases, we can’t let go of a trauma or let go of blaming someone for our negative experience, because we haven’t figured out how it happened the first time and therefore how to logically prevent it from happening, again.

When enough time has passed from the initial traumatizing (or upsetting) event, we need to keep in mind that some personal and environmental factors have probably already changed, since that time. If the traumatizing event happened when one was a child and one is now an adult, physically most of us are much stronger, know how to enlist legal and professional help, often have others in our lives who could help prevent the event from occurring in the present time, and have a wealth of resources in terms of information and otherwise that we did not have as children. As far as prevention of a reoccurrence of the event goes, we need to keep in mind that being aware of and utilizing those resources can take place only when one is fully aware of the present moment and not living outside of the current time and place….that is, in one’s mind.

When one is reliving a traumatic (emotionally and/or physically) event in their mind, one is taken out of the present moment. In the present moment, one can be aware of their physical surroundings. If there is a physical danger, one can be aware of the warning clues present, including whichever other factors that might keep one’s self safe or able to escape. If the triggering factors are emotional or mental in nature, staying in the present moment will allow one’s self to stay grounded and clear-thinking, so that they can respond and react in as positive and empowering a way as possible.

Even though it seems counter-intuitive, staying in the trauma of a memory or replaying the constant emotional reference usually does not allow one to get past the mental event. There are the chances that one will EVENTUALLY burn out on a particular emotional reference, given enough repitition, but there is no guarantee and certainly no timeline on when it is supposed to happen. Especially when one can build up other mental associations to justify the replay of the memory or reference.

When the trauma or emotional reference is strong enough to keep a “memory” of sorts repeating in one’s psyche (like an internal mental video loop), then changing the submodalities will help break the repetitive playback. Consciously allow the memory or the visual representation to come into full awareness, complete with all of the sensory elements. Within meditation or imagination, distance yourself physically from the visual image/s–see the scene as becoming separate from your personal body. Change ALL of the sensory elements–if there is any dialog, change the pitch and volume of the voice so that they are more comical and less threatening….with the visual factors, change the colors to pastels, stripes, polka dots, black-and-white….change the texture and temperatures….imagine different tastes in your mouth and odors in your nose….add circus music or any other background music….be creative and see how many sensory elements you can make up and alter. When you are done, take an internal inventory. Do you feel any different towards the initial event? Finally, send the dissociated image far away, maybe into the Sun.

Now, with the traumatic event emotionally deactivated and defused, you are free to explore the various aspects on a more mental level. This will be working with the mental references, in general. For our working example, let us pick something (relatively) less charged. Let us work with Sadness.

Create sacred, safe space using whichever methods you find appropriate. Cleanse the physical space with incense or salt water. Invoke the elements or other spirits. Cast a circle. Whatever seems intuitively correct. In this safe space, center yourself. Either in meditation or free association, ask yourself if Sadness enriches your life in any way. Can you get your goals met through being Sad or expressing Sadness?

Expressing negative emotion works for children. Most feeling adults will attempt to rescue or soothe babies and small children, when they are expressing distress of any sort.  As these children grow, there might be less inclination on the parts of adults to respond to their signs of distress, as they might be seen to be old enough to either take care of their own needs or that they are overreacting to external circumstances.  By the time that they are adults, crying or expressing upset is not necessarily responded to with as much sympathy by the general public.  As a matter of fact, some expressions of neediness can be seen as unappealing and unattractive, rather eliciting distaste or some degree of revulsion by the other surrounding adults.

By the time we become adults, we are not supposed to convey distress in the same way that we did as children.  We might not have been told explicitly to stop expressing a need for rescue….but, to some degree, there might still be that expectation that someone will fix our problems for us, even though we will have learned different ways of asking for rescue….even if it is by trying to manipulate someone else’s emotions into running to our rescue.

When we think we need someone to emotionally rescue us, we force ourselves to stay in that negative emotional space (Sadness) where the emotional cues to non-verbally ask for rescue live (appearing sad or hurt, expressing that through our bodies, facial expressions, tone of voice).  We want someone to satisfy our needs, while we must remain in that Sad, Depressed, Unhappy state.  We cannot ever be satisfied emotionally because we would have to leave that emotional state where all of those childhood tools and techniques are kept.  Once we leave that dependent state, we no longer have access to those tools of expressed distress.  As long as we rely on using those tools, we cannot ever experience anything resembling positive emotion or happiness.

The negative state (Sadness) that we want to be rescued from holds our tools (expressions of Sadness, that hopefully people respond to) for asking for rescue….we cannot use those tools of expressed distress, without being stuck in that sad, negative-emotion state.

What does feeling Sadness get us?  What does expressing Sadness do?  It is a reaction to not having our reality the way that we want it, at the moment–but, metaphysically speaking, positive manifestations cannot be made with negative energies.  It might get us some temporary sympathy….perhaps, it can gain us some attention.  But, ultimately, if the goal is to eventually be happy in any way, expressing Sadness chains us to further Sadness and the need to feel Sad in order to garner sympathy and rescue.

Which is the imaginary goal in using Sadness….is it that by feeling Sad, someone will take pity on us, give us attention, show us how much they care, therefore expressing their Concern, Love or Caring for us?  Most often, people who relate to other people who are Sad are reminded of their own Sadness–present, past, internal or hidden.  There are much more people who react to Sadness by mirroring it in some way, matching it because of the other person expressing it towards them.

More often than not, because of similarity of vibration, Sad people can only resonate with other people who are just as sad or close to being just as Sad.  A victim cannot emotionally resonate with someone who is not some sort of victim, themselves.  Often an emotional victim wishes for someone who will rescue them in a one-sided sort of way, like a lifeguard rescuing someone drowning in water or a paramedic rescuing someone from physical distress.  Unless the relationship is one between psychologist/psychiatrist/professional counselor and client/patient, it is highly unlikely that someone will rescue us the same way in a personal relationship.  The person who is emotionally rescuing us will usually need something back in return or will be off to rescue someone else as soon as we are out of our current level of distress.

In the same meditation session, ask yourself–What are alternatives to Sadness that will help me reach my goals?  Which positive emotions will be more functional?  Is it really practical to be Sad?  What is the positive emotion I would want to gain by showing Sadness to others?  Work with that positive emotion, directly.

3398e7ca3a4f718dd37bc6e6dc0b8a73.jpg

 

Advertisements

Healing Love Addiction, Clinginess, Emotional Dependence and Other Sticky Feelings

Where do I start?  How about if I point out that the point of spirituality is to be completely aware of your Oneness with the Divine?  Let’s start there.

On the spiritual pathway, we often mix in magick, manifestation, and emotional empowerment.  It is not always a clearcut, direct pathway back towards the ecstasy of Oneness.  Depending on the limitations and structures of our individual personalities, some of us manifest in our human lives as being emotionally dependent beings.  We are the type that wants to find fulfillment through manifesting our preconceived ideals of a satisfying romantic relationship.  We are the type most likely to cast a lot of love spells, maybe also exploring the New Age or self-help aspects of relationships and how to manifest them.

In metaphysical thought, our nature….our true state is Oneness with the Divine.  If we could describe it in human terms, we might think of it as a state of Fulfillment, Completeness, Wholeness.  Nothing is missing.  Everything is included.

However, in order to have a human experience, we must limit our awareness of the bliss of Completeness.  We take on mental and emotional illusions to be human.  To be human is to cut off our full spiritual awareness.  In order to live a human life, we have to narrow our consciousness.

This is neither good, nor bad….but the nature of human existence.  One viewpoint on DESIRE is that we are aware of being part of or “having” something on an energetic or spiritual level….and, coupled with the human delusion that we are separate from that “thing” or energy, we feel the instinct to realize our union with that object of desire, once more.

Being human, we are still aware of the state of Oneness, but it is not a complete awareness….it is almost like a memory or a intuitive knowing that this is a possible state.  As humans, we desire to be in complete awareness, once more.  However, also as humans, we filter this intuition through our human-mental reasoning.  We come up with plans and conclusions for how we get this state of Union back.  Depending on how much we are convinced that the physical world and its objects affect our moods, feelings and states….we come up with conclusions about what needs to happen in the physical world before we are allowed to have the very specific feeling/sensory experience that we describe as “love” or “being in love” or “being loved”.

As humans, some of us incorrectly conclude that we need to have very specific people with very specific qualities (physical or otherwise) perform very specific actions.  Then, and only then, will we allow our personal consciousness to be aware of our state of Completeness.  We instinctively desire to be back in full awareness of Completeness, but we incorrectly assume that it will happen when we are in a human-on-human romantic relationship.

(Depending on the individual’s personality, the substitute for the bliss of a loving/romantic human relationship could be a sexually-satisfying relationship, which follows essentially the same sort of structure, but to keep it simple, I will focus on the emotional/romantic variation.)

In metaphysical terms, there are so many mistakes with expecting Blissful Happiness to come from ANY human-on-human relationship.  The primary mistake is to expect happiness to COME FROM any physical scenario, including a relationship.  Manifestation is the end result.  Thoughts, feelings, energies come before the physical world and its activities…..happiness is what we BRING to the physical world.  Happiness does not manifest in the world UNTIL it is brought in through awareness.

Expecting happiness to COME FROM other humans, at all times, is also unreasonable.  Humans are limited creatures–that is the nature of being human.  No judgement.  That is just how we become human, by cutting off complete Spiritual Awareness and manifesting as a flawed and wounded being, in the world.  Many humans embrace, reinforce and defend their negative limitations–rationalizing that they have reasonable excuses to feel and express sadness, anger or any other negative emotion…and less reasonable justification to feel positive emotions or finer vibrations.  People who strive to experience Joy do so as a personal choice, understanding that it is a personal unfolding.  Unless someone takes personal responsibility for their internal experience, there is no guarantee that they will not continue to express and manifest learned negative human emotion.  It is unfair to expect other people to make you feel loved and/or happy.  A spiritually responsible being brings their own happiness into their relationships.

I have nothing to really back up my perception of children’s experience–what it means to be a child, in metaphysical terms.  I simply have some ideas that I’ve grown into–but, as yet, have little logical support for my thoughts.  That being said, I will now share them.  At this point, I will simply claim that I intuitively find these concepts to be the most correct for my  understanding–I personally believe that at the stage of childhood, we still hold much of our intuition about our state of Wholeness.  As we become more cognitive human beings, we are in two places at once–still intuitively aware of our Oneness with the Divine, as we settle into our humanhood, with its human limitation and delusions.  The conflict is when we are trying to relate to the limited human world (where there is the illusion of separation), while still instinctively remembering the already-present connection with everything on the spiritual level.  It is my personal opinion that this discrepancy is the cause of distress in children–the sense of entitlement (on a spiritual level) and the upset over lack of immediate physical gratification is because, on some level, they still remember the oneness with everything that they seem to be separate from in the physical world.

As we grow up, most of us tend to forget the Oneness more and more, until we completely feel separated from everything.  There is that sense of separation, plus some of us still remember the frustration of being denied or feeling like something is being withheld from us–when we did remember possessing it, at one point.

To further complicate things, children are sometimes placated by adults when they show signs of emotional distress, such as crying.  While it is reasonable to expect to take care of children when they are small, we normally do not teach children to become emotionally self-sufficient as they grow.  Hopefully, children are at least taught to become physically self-sufficient–but, what lacks is training children to become the type of adult that can fill their own emotional needs.

When a capable, self-sufficient adult is hungry, they usually do not wait for someone to come feed them.  When a capable, self-sufficient adult is dirty, they usually do not wait for someone to come bathe them.  When a capable, self-sufficient adult feels cold, they usually put on more of their own clothes, adjusts the central heat and/or puts on another blanket.  They do not wait for someone to come and take care of their warmth levels for them.

For some reason, some self-sufficient adults take care and responsibility for their physical bodies, but still rely on other people to take care of their emotional needs.  Regardless of the fact that very few of us are taught how to take care of another person’s emotional needs–it is just not something that we are overtly taught how to do.  Some of us might attempt to–and might succeed in immediate (rescue or crisis) emotional care, but nothing that is long term,  deeply lasting or transformative/healing.

Those of us adults who are emotionally dependent on others, clingy or hinge our emotional responses on the actions of others…do so with unreasonable expectations.  Some of us expect the other person to make us feel loved or happy, when we have no evidence that they are able to or even want to.  We have no logical reason to assume that they are capable of doing so.  Our logic is based on a “it should be like this” cause-effect relationship, when we have no real evidence to prove that this is so.

In metaphysical terms, we are experiencing a physical world that is the reflection of the attitudes, thoughts, expectations and convictions that we hold in our mental bodies.  This can include all thoughtforms in our conscious and unconscious levels, positive and negative.  This includes all surface, analytical thought as well as those leftover thoughts from childhood–some might be ideas about how things are supposed to be, because we never challenged the ideas.

By the time we become full adults, the relationships that we create can be no better than the thoughtforms that we have invested energy into, up to that time–whichever ideas that we have about love, relationships, men, women, self-worth…all of our strongest convictions in belief manifest themselves in other people.  Unsatisfactory relationships come into our world because of limited thoughts or the lack of elevated/expansive thoughts.

Humans who do not walk the consciously spiritual path, find others to be responsible for their lack of happiness.  They hold lovers, spouses, children, family and others to provoke or withhold their emotional responses.  And that is fine.  Not everyone is spiritual.  Not everyone is following the spiritual path.  Not everyone will follow a spiritual path.  This article has nothing to do with them.

For those of us who strive to awaken, to relate to our spiritual nature once more, we take the effort to remind ourselves that our happiness comes from remembering to SENSE the finer energies that are the essence of the Divine.  Instead of reacting to the presence and movement of the physical world and its objects, we remember to SENSE the flows of energy that come from Spirit.

In formal meditation, focus on whatever you think of as The Divine….The Goddess, The Great Spirit, The Universe.  Start by imagining what it would feel like to feel Oneness with The Divine.  What is it like to feel Complete?  What is it like to feel Wholeness?  Imagine what it would be like to feel absolutely Loved…Loving….Love, Itself?  Play around with these concepts, for as long as you can.  Before coming out of this state, allow yourself to forward this into specific images from your daily life.  What will happen when you bring this state of Completeness and Wholeness into your waking life?  What kind of energy will you bring to your interactions with others?  How positively will everyone respond to this Divine energy?

1e41c98d7fc9a15fd77f49b5eaeedc77

A Few Notes About Spirituality

My quick-notes interpretation of being spiritual is experiencing those qualities that are associated with Spirit, Itself.  Being spiritual is to be completely self-identified with Love, Peace, Joy, Stillness and Completeness.

That’s it.

Spirit is that Essence that we sometimes call The Goddess, The Gods, The Creator, Substance…it is beyond activity, because it is complete, encompassing all essence.  This is not an argument for stagnation or non-action on any level.  I am simply pointing out that one thing is not another.

On the level of Spirit, there is the awareness that everything is One, nothing is missing….in the Oneness, there is complete peace.  (My human personality has the image that I am merging with everything that I have ever loved.)  We don’t do anything on the Spiritual level.  Everything is already done.  We become aware of the Oneness that is the Spiritual level….we can think of it as a state of being.

The Physical Level is that of the material world.  It is manifest reality–solid matter and the five basic senses.  The Emotional Level is where the energies of human feelings exists.  The Mental Level is where thoughts live–the realm of the mind.  In this simple, four-part model of experience,  Spirit is that dimension beyond body, emotions and thoughts.  It is Being.  Spirituality is beyond feeling, thinking and physical activity.

Magick is not Spirituality.  Magick is an activity.  It is the changing of manifest reality in accordance with one’s will and desire.  Since manifest reality is a reflection of one’s perception, thoughts and feelings–to change one’s manifest reality is to change what one carries around on a perceptual level….beliefs, convictions and observations.  Magick can lead one to spirituality in the sense that if one is more satisfied in life, with one’s worldly (emotional and mental) manifestations, one’s consciousness can relax into the higher essences of Love and Peace.  Magick is not as direct a pathway as Meditation, but it is a completely valid one, depending on what the practitioner can relate to and concentrate on.  It is a valid way of dealing with our perceptions about reality.

Emotional healing is not Spirituality.  Emotional healing is the clearing out of personal identification with all forms of disempowerment.  It is letting go of the needs to relate to anger, sadness, anxiety, depression, fear….essentially, all negative feelings which are not based on complete immersion in Spirit.  While not as direct as Meditation, it is valid in that it clears out the obstacles to re-identifying with Peace and Love.

On a similar note, there are some Charismatic practices by some local churches that I am aware of.  The misinterpretation that I often hear is that these dynamic forms of worship are very powerful for connecting to God.  While I am aware of some forms of dynamic meditation, it seems that there runs the danger of confusing the adrenaline and dopamine of dancing and clapping, with the bliss and joy that comes from a deep meditation.  The danger with feeling good after physical activity is that we sometimes attribute that to the context in an inaccurate way.  Feeling good in a church building does not mean that we had any spiritual experience which changed our consciousness in any permanent way.

To experience Spirit, do not meditate on the manifest gods–but instead, on Spirit in its completeness.  Pure Spirit.  What is it like to be Spirit?

 

 

 

flower-beards-trend-8

 

How Much Power Does A Witch Really Have?

There are some people who believe that we absolutely create everything in our lives.  There are some people who believe that we have some input, some influence…but that we are subject to external factors–Fate, a Divine Plan, the free will of others.

In some schools of metaphysics, there is this idea that manifest reality is simply a reflection of the thoughts and feelings of the viewer–the one who is living their earthly life.  While the thoughts and feelings might not always be consciously held….but, because they are influenced by what we focus on….we can be said to have complete power to change them.  In this model, we hold absolute power.  The more that we grow into God/dess-identification, the more that we can influence the situations that spring up around us.

If we are growing into becoming living gods, the question that we always come back to is–“How can I influence this scenario?”  How much can I affect each and every situation that comes into my awareness?  How can I deepen my belief that I can transform this event?

If we do not believe that we are able to affect or heal every scenario…if we believe that we are subject to any external forces, at all….then we change the focus in our meditations.  How can we be at peace in the scenario at hand?  How much peace, love and healing am I allowed to bring with me to the event?  If there is a situation that we cannot heal or shape, then we bring as much comfort and as much ease, as we can carry.

082a093c8a6ae493e64e67ffbc60aef0

Why I Still Love Love Magick….In Spite of All The Judgements, Criticism, Sneers and Bitchy Remarks

I still don’t have Prince Charming…but, my understanding of Love has changed and evolved over the years.  It might seem that I have become more cynical towards my fellow human…but, maybe I’m just actually more realistic.  I’ve given up on finding someone outside of myself to complete me, to fill in my missing pieces.  But, in doing so, I have become much more self-reliant.  I experience a larger degree of love, for much longer periods of time.  Lovers come and go, but Love Itself has become more of a constant.

Where do we get this idea of that perfect mate that is supposed to come in and fill us?  I didn’t get it from any of the real-life examples around me.  When I was growing up, my parents were not really a good match.  Nor did I see any of the other marriages or long term partnerships as reflecting any sort of storybook romance.  I didn’t see any real life demonstrations of soulmates, but something about the concept resonated within me.  From wherever I got the idea, I wanted that kind of partnership.

My current joke is that I blame Disney for giving me unrealistic expectations.  Disney and pretty much every other form of media that sells us that idea that someone else will come along and fix me emotionally, regardless of what I have on the table or what I am bringing into the relationship.  Metaphysically speaking, fairy tale romances and princely rescue are contradictory to the energetic rules of manifestation.  Someone who needs to be fixed or rescued is coming from the misperception that they are broken and cannot fix themselves.  (Not to pick on my Catholic upbringing, but I wonder if this is a variation of instant healing that Jesus was supposed to give me once I signed over my soul to him.  This might support the idea that we do not need to do anything to improve ourselves, other than wait for someone to magickally appear and do it for us.)

We can project for others to come into our lives and perform particular acts, including dialog….complimenting us, telling us how much they love us.  But, when we are so convinced that there is something fundamentally wrong with us–that we are damaged, unlovable, unlikable, unattractive, less than others in one way or another–that is our predominant energy and any other thoughtforms which are not of a similar nature will not be able to manifest or stay physically solid in our experience for very long.

Love is Love.  It’s an energy, an essence, a state of being or awareness.  It is not any act in the physical world.  It is not a compliment or an expression, in and of itself.  It is not any form.  We can channel Love into our personal awareness.  We can feel Love.  We can be aware of what it is, how it feels and how far it extends.  We can perform physical actions, expressions, and speak–all inspired from Love.  We can use triggers in the world to remind ourselves to feel Love.  We can attempt to provoke or trick others into feeling Love.

But, Love itself is a completely personal experience.  Completely individual.  When someone is in an unloving space–depressed, mourning, angry, despondent, stressed, tired, apathetic–they do not and cannot immediately resonate with that energy.  If their vibration is too far away from the vibration of Love, they will not be able to feel it.  Best bet is to try to provoke someone’s triggers (excuses, rationalizations) for feeling Love, so that they can work up their awareness to that again.  If our techniques for making someone feel loved worked, then we would have absolute control over someone else’s feelings.  Our loved ones would always be in a good mood, if we could help it.

Love doesn’t go anywhere.  It doesn’t come from anywhere.  We make up thoughts and reasons as to why we can feel it and why we cannot feel it.  We don’t work with Love directly.  We work with our personal obstacles in our awareness and allow ourselves to perceive this Universal Essence.

It doesn’t matter where the desire to feel Loved comes from.  My personal guess is that Love Itself is the essence of The Creator/Creatrix.  My personal opinion is that it is simply our natural state, our natural essence.  To want to be aware of that is simply to want to rest in our natural state.

To be human, experiencing a human lifetime on this earthly plane, we limit ourselves by hiding parts of our awareness from ourselves.  The Universe never changes–we change how much we can see at any time, what we want to be aware of.  Part of the earthly illusion is coming to false conclusions about causality and connection.  We still have the instinct to fully feel Love, but because we perceive that we are “cut off” to some degree from our Creator and the full self-experience of our personal spirits….we give causal powers to the people and the environments around ourselves, to “affect” our feelings.  In our faulty thinking, we take power away from our individual awareness and give power to the people that we have in our lives.

We often conclude that we can’t feel Love until a present, in-real-life person (or an imaginary person, who will show up in our lives at some undisclosed future time) performs certains acts–which can include anything and everything from spending time with us, giving us enough attention through specific acts, telling us very particular words (phrases or dialog) or making us cookies.

To make matters more complicated, people tie up a lot of other concepts with feeling Love, Itself.  The experience of Love is a meditative one, it is an awareness of the Energy of the Universe, Itself.  However, being as complicated as human personality is, we’ve attached other issues and ideas to this experience.  Some of us have made emotional healing equivalent to feeling loved.  Some of us have also combined sex with love in a way that we cannot feel loved until we are having sex or are with someone who would have sex with us.

The problem equating emotional wholeness with feeling loved is that there is an equal trap on all sides.  Someone who identifies as emotionally damaged is projecting their wounds and (eventual) negative expressions of those wounds as thoughtforms in their energy.   The only people who are attracted to these energies have similarly negative energies in their own energy bodies that they need to play out as well, in the forms of unhealthy relationships or interactions.  Wounded people and non-wounded people do not come together in a relationship, unless it is specifically a therapeutic one….client/patient and healer.

Best case scenario is that someone who comes in to rescue or heal a damaged personality will stay around only as long as they are able to rescue/heal.  Once the victim heals or does better, then the personal energies of the two persons are no longer compatible.  Rescuers need to rescue.  Healers need to heal.  The former rescuer will most likely leave since they cannot rescue or heal anymore.  The alternative to this will be that  their personal issues will then have that empty space to manifest in the place of the now-missing issues of the former victim–the rescuer will now take the place of the victim.

As far as equating Love with sex, this might be because of that state of Wholeness one can reach in a really good orgasm.  Even a meditative attitude towards the sex act can become a spiritual experience.  That higher awareness can be found within sex, as well as directly meditating on Love.  Complete immersion into Pleasure, abandon and leaving the mind behind are all meditative techniques.  Alternate pathways for raising awareness.  What we are not taught is that one does not need to be with another person at all in order to meditate on these same energies.  Pleasure, Abandon, Mindfulness and Meditation are all things that can be experienced in direct meditation.  Waiting for physical prompts (such as a lover is possible, but not mandatory.

Meditating and Identifying with the Universal State and Energies of Love is a more direct method of Self-Awakening.  Some metaphysicians believe that that is the point of existence, to remember our spiritual nature….the state of being Love, regardless of any and all physical circumstances.  Not all of us are in the mental space where we can meditate on the essence of awakening.  Some of us are still in the state of understanding, the belief that we must come to these happinesses and higher states only through physical experience and through the physical interaction with others.

Rather than wait until we can come to that awareness that it is the essence of the experience of Love that we want, not a particular person….in my opinion, it is more productive to move forward, even if we are stumbling.  Healing and Self-Awareness come on winding pathways.

According to some metaphysical interpretations, we have the driving instinct to experience this perfect state of being Loved.   Many of us do whatever we think we have to do, within the limitations of our personal ethical and social restraints, to feel loved by someone else.  Mixed in with that, we also naturally become attracted to those negative experiences which we associate with Love relationships.  In those negative relationships, we have the opportunity to work out those issues and negative repeating patterns that prevent us from having a satisfying experience.

Keeping these concepts in mind, I would advise the magician to throw themselves completely into any sort of Love Magick that they feel attracted to–with some conditions.  Question and mentally explore the internal motivations and possible outcomes of all desires, first and foremost.  Use every motivation, desire and intention to move forward in emotional healing.  If there is still a strong desire to work out issues through or with another person–cast any spell that you are drawn to.  One theory is that spells involving other people only manifest if all parties’ guardian spirits and guiding consciousness see benefit from the physical or energetic manifestation of the spell.

An important factor to be aware of is that in the manifest universe, there is always opportunity for expansion of consciousness and self-empowerment in any situation.  Furthermore, any spell can only take root in one’s personal reality if they have enough compatible energy for that spell to seed in.  A curse will not affect a target who is at a very high, positive vibration…..just as a blessing will not affect someone who is at a very low, negative level of vibration.  Any spell of Influence can only work if there is something compatible within the recipient.  Spells do not always work, especially when there is no supporting energy in the situation.

Even if love spells do not manifest at all in changes in the physical world, it is excellent to gauge one’s personal obstacles to get insight into which energies one is actually immersed in–are they too negative?  What caused you to want to perform the spell and what is your reaction to it working or not working?  What is your relationship to the energies of Love, Joy, Pleasure and Expansion, in and of Themselves?  Are they something that you can relate to experiencing, right now?  The end results are how we are transformed as individuals–our personal, internal experience.

70e482d663d48bc1a7f15a5f2dccc777

Love Magick: Chaos, Truth and Other Stuff

  • Love magick is probably one of the messiest areas of magick that we have. There are so many warnings and guidelines for performing love magick. There are so many disappointments that come from spells that didn’t manifest correctly, as directed or exactly how we petitioned. In a nutshell, the magick is only reflecting the personal relationships that we have with the energies of Love, Sex, Deserving and Receiving that we all carry with us in the world. The biggest misconception is that Love Magick is manifesting a particular person who will behave in particular ways.  Love Magick is activating personal experience of particular sensations and interior experiences. Love Magick is never the problem. We already had all of the problems that we associated with Love and Sex before we started consciously focusing and asking for any manifestation, in any form of structured petition.

    The principle theory in magick is that we physically experience the events that match up with the expectations, beliefs and energies that we carry within ourselves in the forms of thoughts and feelings.

    If we experienced the emotions and concepts associated with a loving relationship, we would already have a loving relationship manifest in the physical world around us. It is one thing to want or desire such a relationship. The magickal idea is to experience everything associated with it on a mental and emotional level….completely internal….REGARDLESS (and before) of what is happening in the material world.

    Despite all excuses, reasons and justifications–this is how magick works. Magickal workings are just a conscious application of the principles that describe how personal reality already works. Even if someone never studied magick, under the metaphysical principles, they are still manifesting their world….albeit non-consciously.

    Rather than just shooting for manifesting a physical relationship–set up a Love Altar to experience the different energies that come in a love relationship. Focus on essence before form.  Consider this the preliminary work before the manifestation of a physical form or situation.

    Create an altar working with the imagery and symbols of Venus, the Heart Chakra or anything else that you associate with Love energies. Steer away from images of people. You are focusing on the energies to begin with. Any stones, symbols, tools are completely acceptable as long as they bring a personal association with the energies of Love, in some form.

    To begin, make a list of all of the general concepts that are associated with being in a loving relationship. This is personal. There are no right or wrong answers.

    Perhaps, keep in mind that when we fantasize about our ideal relationships, we often use them as a catch-all for all of the other relationships that are possible to experience in Life….we look for experience of Divine Love, Sexual Satisfaction, Acceptance, Validation, Comfort, Peace, Fulfillment….even if something doesn’t seem logical to you, put it down–work with it, anyway.

    Once you have your list, perhaps make some flashcards or notecards, with each concept on its own. This will make it easier for meditation and focus. Taking for example, Divine Love–place the notecard in a prominent place. Somewhere that you will be able to bring your attention back to the term, in case you lose your concentration. If you would like, add any objects to your altar that can represent Divine Love for your meditation. The practical work is that you are going to play with the intensity to which and the length of time that you can feel Divine Love–not only during formal meditation time, but also throughout the normal day.

    The attitude during meditation/energy work is not to feel like you are clocking in practice hours. The idea is to see how fully you can experience these energies with all of your senses, to the limitations of your senses….and beyond…over time. Coming back to our example, cast circle or prepare the space in any way which feels appropriate.

    Allow yourself to center and breathe deeply. Become aware that Divine Love is omnipresent. Your experience of this energy is dependent on your mental acceptance of any sensory experience that corresponds to this concept. Which correspondences confirm the conviction you feel Divine Love? What does your body feel like when you are Divinely Loved? Which sensations are in your physical form? Which feeling-sensations are in each one of your chakras?–go through each one. What does each chakra feel like when you are Divinely Loved? Go through all of the energy bodies, depending on the system that makes sense to you–Emotional, Mental or more. Feel whichever sensations correspond to you knowing that you are Divinely Loved. What is your mental dialog when you know that you are Divinely Loved? What passes through your head? Which interactions do you have in the world? Which conversations and interactions do you have with others, when you know that you are Divinely Loved? How do you carry yourself? How do you project yourself in the world?

    Go through each of the other qualities on your list. Take note of which changes, internal and worldly, that take place as you continue this exercise.

    monk-in-heart-cave-meditating

The Metaphysical and Spiritual Understanding of Extramarital Affairs

  •  

    In the bigger picture, we are complete Spiritual Beings. We are made up of the same substance as is The Divine. There is nothing missing from us. We are all that God/Goddess/Universe is. We cannot be added to, because we are All That Is.

    We are human, because we have temporarily hidden parts of our awareness from our conscious minds. Spirit is Omniscient, Omnipresent and Omnipotent. Being human, we work through the limitations of a human mind and human emotions. Until we relate to being the Fullness of the Universe once more, by default, we find ourselves in human situations and worldly scenarios. Rather than allow our miseries to overwhelm us, it might be interesting to look at our situations in a different way.

    As humans, we are so ready to justify our negativity and limitations, under the guise of some sort of “lesson”. If the bottom line is that our True Nature is Love and Completeness, how is any situation based on feeling limited any sort of lesson? Our minds were not meant to take huge quantum leaps in awareness. As a theory, it can be a nice idea, but it might be counterproductive to “believe” in huge leaps. The human personality finds lasting changes in smaller steps. Creating long-term, lasting changes in belief comes from making smaller adjustments, rather than attempting drastic changes. I would like to propose that there are not so much lessons in worldly scenarios–based on personal shortcomings–as much as the Truth of the “lesson” is that we have the opportunity to realize our Complete/Spiritual nature in every life situation.

    As humans, we find ourselves in a variety of life situations. We find ourselves embroiled in all sorts of negativity. While being part of an Infidelity Triangle is not the only or most extreme scenario that some of us find ourselves in….it is one of the many situations of life that we can use to propel our self-evolution.

    We find ourselves in our particular life scenarios, with all of their specific details, for basically two reasons–the manifestations match the attitudes, thoughts and feelings that we have been carrying….or we can use those particular details of a life situation to push against and spiritually blossom in the process.

     

    Metaphysics and spirituality have their own sets of foundation beliefs.  No one is obligated to believe that we create our lives through our personal energies, even if only by default. No one is obligated to accept that we can take our life situations as springboards for personal growth, rather than remaining in one’s current emotional state.  Complaining about our current negative situations has not worked and we keep finding ourselves in similar scenarios, generation after generation. It does not work to just say that particular situations are bad and that we should not be in them.

    As adults, we find ourselves in undesirable and less-than-desirable circumstances. Some circumstances are so common, they are almost their own norm. Perhaps looking at them from a metaphysical angle and working with them through metaphysical techniques might make some sort of change in the individual. As an adult, placing responsibility on any other adult for one’s feelings has not made any sense. One adult blaming another for their feelings is never nearly as healing as taking responsibility for one’s own happiness.  As metaphysicians, each person can empower themselves to be more comfortable in or leave the situation as they see fit.

    It is possible to be in an open or polygamous relationship. When everything is out in the open between consenting adults, the types of negativity are very different.  This is not always the case.  Instead of denying the occurrence of an Infidelity Triangle, let us meet it head on as conscious beings, when it does occur.

    In an Infidelity Triangle, there are three possible positions. For purposes of keeping the positions clear, we will refer to them as The Other Partner, The Lover and The Spouse. For purposes of being constructive, we will avoid terms like “cheating” because such terminology brings the reader back to judgement and disempowers the reader from making any constructive changes in their participation and personal perspective.

    Regardless of gender, The Other Partner is the participant outside of the main relationship or marriage. The Other Partner participates in the extramarital affair with The Lover. (The Lover is the one that is married or principally involved with The Spouse, as their main relationship.) The Other Partner might get involved in the extramarital affair for a multitude of reasons–positive and negative. For purposes of self growth and healing, we will not focus on the positive so much, but instead focus on correcting the negative reasons.

       The negative aspects of being The Other Partner could come from being unable to be a part of a monogamous relationship, where one is the only focus of The Lover. The metaphysical remedy could be to cultivate more self worth. The default settings in one’s psyche could be that one never assumed that one would be the most desirable in a lover’s life. It might have never occurred to one that they would be enough to satisfy a romantic interest or life partner, completely. Prepare meditation space by cleansing space and casting a circle. Do everything else appropriate, as feels correct. In your meditation, perceive yourself as the most attractive creature that you can. Do not worry about physical appearance–focus on having the most attractive energy that you can.

        Be very aware of the energy that emanates from you. Without forming any solid imagery of any particular people–be aware of how your energy is extremely attractive to others. Be aware of the feelings of other partners reacting favorably to your energy in ways that make them want to devote themselves to you.  Take the time to muse on positive qualities that others perceive and enjoy within you.  Repeat this exercise, often.

       Another possible negativity that could be manifest in the position of The Other Partner is that they have set themselves up to participate in a dramatic confrontation with others. This can simply be a default setting, because one is used to the idea (on some level) of being caught up in confrontations with others. To avoid this, practice extreme grounding and shielding, keeping in your personal energy no matter what happens around you.

       Throughout the day, in meditative space and outside of it, be very aware of the energetic roots that connect your energy system to that of Mother Earth’s. Feel how strongly you are rooted to the Earth. Feel how grounded you can feel. Feel how extra, nervous, negative energy slides down so easily and is absorbed by the Earth. Be very aware that Nature Herself has also provided you with an energetic shield, that protects you from all incoming emotional and mental energies. Feel how solid this shield is, as it keeps any and all emotional and mental attacks from you. Without allowing the images of any specific people to form in your mind, be aware of how there might be dramatic/negative interactions in the world around you….but that with the grounding roots and your energetic shields, everyone else’s energies do not seem to affect you.

       Practice being unaffected by the negativity of the world around you.

    Concerning the position of The Lover, some possible negativity might come from the idea that we can’t fulfill all of our relationship needs in one person. (The Lover needs to be in relationship with their Spouse and The Other Partner.)  This idea is related to the concept that we need other people to fulfill our emotional needs. While it is nice to be able to relate to other people in positive ways in positive interactions–as humans, we have this idea that emotional fulfillment only comes from receiving specific responses from the human beings around us.

    In light or formal meditation, allow the images of significant others to surround you–allow all significant others, past and present to appear. Center and allow yourself to realize that every person that comes into your life is reflecting the good qualities that you possess within yourself. As pure spirit, you are the macrocosm, the totality and the completeness of The Universe. Any good you see or perceive in others is a reflection of the good within you. When you “want” something from another adult, you are projecting that particular quality into that other person and ignoring that very quality within your personal energy. For example, when you need Validation from a spouse and/or a lover, you are not acknowledging the Self Validation that a higher aspect of your Being has for yourself. The Self Validation is a constant presence and needs no activity or action to justify its presence.  Your soul approves of you at all times, whether your human personality is aware of it or not.

     

    Other questions that you may ask yourself in meditation and journaling are:  Is there any need to create drama just for the sake of drama? Does it seem normal to have drama or confrontation?  Is there any need to become a sort of villain to others? How much of a need is there to have to choose between two options that will leave one lacking something after one option is eliminated? Do you feel the need to have some bittersweet or melancholic memories and feel the loss of someone? Is it possible to be in life situations in which everyone is fine, no one is hurt and everyone wins?

    The third and final position is that of The Spouse. This is the one that is the primary relationship partner, not included in the extramarital affair. Negative aspects of being in this position could be the need to be the victim. What are the payoffs of being “the victim”–sympathy from others? Commiseration with other victims? The justification of immersing one’s self in negative emotion or dramatic expression?

    Possible causes for being in this position could be that one needs to justify feeling like one is not enough for The Lover. Low self esteem is not the same thing as humility….and is not something to coddle or celebrate.  In light or formal meditation, become aware of moving in the vastness of your own hidden energy. As you become aware of your personal resources, allow yourself to feel like a Complete Being–mentally stretch beyond this concept and imagine what it would be like to be “beyond Complete”. As you contemplate your hidden resources, allow yourself to daydream on OTHER people perceiving you as the perfect marriage partner. In this meditation, allow yourself to feel what it would be like to know OTHER people felt happy, loved and satisfied in your presence. Allow yourself to imagine feeling other people being in love or enamored with you. Imagine what it would be like to be completely in love with yourself.

    Repeat meditations in all three positions of the Infidelity Triangle.  Keep a diary and record your experiences and insights.

    women sunsets landscapes nature shadows 1920x1200 wallpaper_wallpaperswa.com_23 (1)