The Energy Model and An Unusual Approach to Love Magick

This approach involves looking at energy in a slightly different way than what we are taught is standard, even in most modern metaphysical schools.  Rather than thinking of the point of manifestation as using energy, visualization and other magickal technique to manifest the physical experience of a romantic relationship, a sexual encounter or a specific person….we are looking at the internal reaction afterwards as the last event, the final manifestation of a scenario.

The manifestation of an object or event in the physical is not the final stage.  It is always the internal reaction of the manifestor/magician that is the true end result.  Once the car is made manifest in reality, the magician responds to the manifestation with positive and/or negative emotions.  Mental realizations come up as everything from a self-affirming “Ohmigosh, I did it.  I am a powerful magician.  The Universe loves me” to the negative “Holy crap.  How can I keep from losing this?  I can’t afford this.”

We change reality–we alter circumstances and conditions, move objects in and out of physical proximity–because we consciously strive to evoke a reaction and subconsciously want to bring our hidden thoughts and feelings to light.  In the perception of the more enlightened magician, all we are trying to do is transform our internal self.  Looking at reality in terms of eventually evoking internal reaction, we are simply trying to remind ourselves, giving ourselves triggers, to remember particular energies.

We are manipulating complicated life-structures to justify our personal perception of particular energies.  These energies are already and have always been in existence.  We are manipulating worldly form to justify the belief that we CAN perceive these energies in our mental and emotional bodies.

Using this model of reasoning, it can be seen that the desire to manifest a Love Relationship is the desire to manipulate enough material circumstance and events in a way which will culminate in manifesting those feelings that one’s psyche associates with being in a Love Relationship.

The frustration that the magician can feel before the Love Relationship is manifested (“not real, yet”) and/or the frustration that the magician can feel when they attempted to manifest the Love Relationship (and it didn’t happen or didn’t happen exactly as consciously requested) is….using the Energy Model of Magick….the justification of the false belief that the mage cannot access those particular “emotional” energies that one has associated with Love Relationships.

To make this more concrete, let us start with a common example.  Let us assume that one has associated feeling Adored with the experience of being in a Love Relationship.    Although, we can sense any and all energies, regardless of physical scenarios….let us work with this example to break down the idea that a seeming lack of the physical experience of a Love Relationship can prevent the mage from any desired internal experience.  Let us work with this concept of association more directly to defuse any of its previously-held power over us, especially on a more subconscious level.  Not everyone can jump to the idea that all happiness comes from self or The Universe.  Some of us still work with the association of feelings to material-world events and objects.

Rather than believing that I cannot possibly be Adored until I am in a Romantic Relationship, and until I am experiencing particular acts with or hearing particular dialog from my Beloved–I am questioning what I previously thought a Romantic Relationship held for me….that I could not experience without it.  With honest questioning and reflection, I have come up with a list of feelings and convictions (feeling loved, the ecstasy of good sex, feeling whole, being content, feeling cared for)….and among them is the feeling that I am adored by someone.

Now, that I am aware of what essences, concepts and energies that I have mentally hidden on the other side of successfully manifesting a material-world event….I am ready to work with these concepts on another level.  Using our target of feeling Adored, I can recognize that it is actually the internal experience of those particular feelings that I really want.  As a spiritual being, I fully recognize that I am able to sense any and all energies, including those of Adoration.  I can do a full ceremony, invoking a magick circle and calling elements or guardians.  If I choose to work with Adoration in an energy meditation, that is also acceptable.

I can sense Adoration as an essence or vibration of The Universe.  I can feel how far this energy extends.  If I want to, I can play with other associations–the color of the energy of Adoration…and other associations that can manifest from that energy (such as animal spirits, elemental associations, and so on).  I would free associate during the meditation itself, rather than research or plan ahead before the meditation.  These would ensure more personal triggers and possibly give further insight to other personal associations.

Do this for all of the energies associated with the manifestation of a Love Relationship.  Once all of the energies have been worked with, note which changes have been made internally and possibly, in the external.  Repeat this cycle of energy work.  See what happens.

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Healing Love Addiction, Clinginess, Emotional Dependence and Other Sticky Feelings

Where do I start?  How about if I point out that the point of spirituality is to be completely aware of your Oneness with the Divine?  Let’s start there.

On the spiritual pathway, we often mix in magick, manifestation, and emotional empowerment.  It is not always a clearcut, direct pathway back towards the ecstasy of Oneness.  Depending on the limitations and structures of our individual personalities, some of us manifest in our human lives as being emotionally dependent beings.  We are the type that wants to find fulfillment through manifesting our preconceived ideals of a satisfying romantic relationship.  We are the type most likely to cast a lot of love spells, maybe also exploring the New Age or self-help aspects of relationships and how to manifest them.

In metaphysical thought, our nature….our true state is Oneness with the Divine.  If we could describe it in human terms, we might think of it as a state of Fulfillment, Completeness, Wholeness.  Nothing is missing.  Everything is included.

However, in order to have a human experience, we must limit our awareness of the bliss of Completeness.  We take on mental and emotional illusions to be human.  To be human is to cut off our full spiritual awareness.  In order to live a human life, we have to narrow our consciousness.

This is neither good, nor bad….but the nature of human existence.  One viewpoint on DESIRE is that we are aware of being part of or “having” something on an energetic or spiritual level….and, coupled with the human delusion that we are separate from that “thing” or energy, we feel the instinct to realize our union with that object of desire, once more.

Being human, we are still aware of the state of Oneness, but it is not a complete awareness….it is almost like a memory or a intuitive knowing that this is a possible state.  As humans, we desire to be in complete awareness, once more.  However, also as humans, we filter this intuition through our human-mental reasoning.  We come up with plans and conclusions for how we get this state of Union back.  Depending on how much we are convinced that the physical world and its objects affect our moods, feelings and states….we come up with conclusions about what needs to happen in the physical world before we are allowed to have the very specific feeling/sensory experience that we describe as “love” or “being in love” or “being loved”.

As humans, some of us incorrectly conclude that we need to have very specific people with very specific qualities (physical or otherwise) perform very specific actions.  Then, and only then, will we allow our personal consciousness to be aware of our state of Completeness.  We instinctively desire to be back in full awareness of Completeness, but we incorrectly assume that it will happen when we are in a human-on-human romantic relationship.

(Depending on the individual’s personality, the substitute for the bliss of a loving/romantic human relationship could be a sexually-satisfying relationship, which follows essentially the same sort of structure, but to keep it simple, I will focus on the emotional/romantic variation.)

In metaphysical terms, there are so many mistakes with expecting Blissful Happiness to come from ANY human-on-human relationship.  The primary mistake is to expect happiness to COME FROM any physical scenario, including a relationship.  Manifestation is the end result.  Thoughts, feelings, energies come before the physical world and its activities…..happiness is what we BRING to the physical world.  Happiness does not manifest in the world UNTIL it is brought in through awareness.

Expecting happiness to COME FROM other humans, at all times, is also unreasonable.  Humans are limited creatures–that is the nature of being human.  No judgement.  That is just how we become human, by cutting off complete Spiritual Awareness and manifesting as a flawed and wounded being, in the world.  Many humans embrace, reinforce and defend their negative limitations–rationalizing that they have reasonable excuses to feel and express sadness, anger or any other negative emotion…and less reasonable justification to feel positive emotions or finer vibrations.  People who strive to experience Joy do so as a personal choice, understanding that it is a personal unfolding.  Unless someone takes personal responsibility for their internal experience, there is no guarantee that they will not continue to express and manifest learned negative human emotion.  It is unfair to expect other people to make you feel loved and/or happy.  A spiritually responsible being brings their own happiness into their relationships.

I have nothing to really back up my perception of children’s experience–what it means to be a child, in metaphysical terms.  I simply have some ideas that I’ve grown into–but, as yet, have little logical support for my thoughts.  That being said, I will now share them.  At this point, I will simply claim that I intuitively find these concepts to be the most correct for my  understanding–I personally believe that at the stage of childhood, we still hold much of our intuition about our state of Wholeness.  As we become more cognitive human beings, we are in two places at once–still intuitively aware of our Oneness with the Divine, as we settle into our humanhood, with its human limitation and delusions.  The conflict is when we are trying to relate to the limited human world (where there is the illusion of separation), while still instinctively remembering the already-present connection with everything on the spiritual level.  It is my personal opinion that this discrepancy is the cause of distress in children–the sense of entitlement (on a spiritual level) and the upset over lack of immediate physical gratification is because, on some level, they still remember the oneness with everything that they seem to be separate from in the physical world.

As we grow up, most of us tend to forget the Oneness more and more, until we completely feel separated from everything.  There is that sense of separation, plus some of us still remember the frustration of being denied or feeling like something is being withheld from us–when we did remember possessing it, at one point.

To further complicate things, children are sometimes placated by adults when they show signs of emotional distress, such as crying.  While it is reasonable to expect to take care of children when they are small, we normally do not teach children to become emotionally self-sufficient as they grow.  Hopefully, children are at least taught to become physically self-sufficient–but, what lacks is training children to become the type of adult that can fill their own emotional needs.

When a capable, self-sufficient adult is hungry, they usually do not wait for someone to come feed them.  When a capable, self-sufficient adult is dirty, they usually do not wait for someone to come bathe them.  When a capable, self-sufficient adult feels cold, they usually put on more of their own clothes, adjusts the central heat and/or puts on another blanket.  They do not wait for someone to come and take care of their warmth levels for them.

For some reason, some self-sufficient adults take care and responsibility for their physical bodies, but still rely on other people to take care of their emotional needs.  Regardless of the fact that very few of us are taught how to take care of another person’s emotional needs–it is just not something that we are overtly taught how to do.  Some of us might attempt to–and might succeed in immediate (rescue or crisis) emotional care, but nothing that is long term,  deeply lasting or transformative/healing.

Those of us adults who are emotionally dependent on others, clingy or hinge our emotional responses on the actions of others…do so with unreasonable expectations.  Some of us expect the other person to make us feel loved or happy, when we have no evidence that they are able to or even want to.  We have no logical reason to assume that they are capable of doing so.  Our logic is based on a “it should be like this” cause-effect relationship, when we have no real evidence to prove that this is so.

In metaphysical terms, we are experiencing a physical world that is the reflection of the attitudes, thoughts, expectations and convictions that we hold in our mental bodies.  This can include all thoughtforms in our conscious and unconscious levels, positive and negative.  This includes all surface, analytical thought as well as those leftover thoughts from childhood–some might be ideas about how things are supposed to be, because we never challenged the ideas.

By the time we become full adults, the relationships that we create can be no better than the thoughtforms that we have invested energy into, up to that time–whichever ideas that we have about love, relationships, men, women, self-worth…all of our strongest convictions in belief manifest themselves in other people.  Unsatisfactory relationships come into our world because of limited thoughts or the lack of elevated/expansive thoughts.

Humans who do not walk the consciously spiritual path, find others to be responsible for their lack of happiness.  They hold lovers, spouses, children, family and others to provoke or withhold their emotional responses.  And that is fine.  Not everyone is spiritual.  Not everyone is following the spiritual path.  Not everyone will follow a spiritual path.  This article has nothing to do with them.

For those of us who strive to awaken, to relate to our spiritual nature once more, we take the effort to remind ourselves that our happiness comes from remembering to SENSE the finer energies that are the essence of the Divine.  Instead of reacting to the presence and movement of the physical world and its objects, we remember to SENSE the flows of energy that come from Spirit.

In formal meditation, focus on whatever you think of as The Divine….The Goddess, The Great Spirit, The Universe.  Start by imagining what it would feel like to feel Oneness with The Divine.  What is it like to feel Complete?  What is it like to feel Wholeness?  Imagine what it would be like to feel absolutely Loved…Loving….Love, Itself?  Play around with these concepts, for as long as you can.  Before coming out of this state, allow yourself to forward this into specific images from your daily life.  What will happen when you bring this state of Completeness and Wholeness into your waking life?  What kind of energy will you bring to your interactions with others?  How positively will everyone respond to this Divine energy?

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Why I Still Love Love Magick….In Spite of All The Judgements, Criticism, Sneers and Bitchy Remarks

I still don’t have Prince Charming…but, my understanding of Love has changed and evolved over the years.  It might seem that I have become more cynical towards my fellow human…but, maybe I’m just actually more realistic.  I’ve given up on finding someone outside of myself to complete me, to fill in my missing pieces.  But, in doing so, I have become much more self-reliant.  I experience a larger degree of love, for much longer periods of time.  Lovers come and go, but Love Itself has become more of a constant.

Where do we get this idea of that perfect mate that is supposed to come in and fill us?  I didn’t get it from any of the real-life examples around me.  When I was growing up, my parents were not really a good match.  Nor did I see any of the other marriages or long term partnerships as reflecting any sort of storybook romance.  I didn’t see any real life demonstrations of soulmates, but something about the concept resonated within me.  From wherever I got the idea, I wanted that kind of partnership.

My current joke is that I blame Disney for giving me unrealistic expectations.  Disney and pretty much every other form of media that sells us that idea that someone else will come along and fix me emotionally, regardless of what I have on the table or what I am bringing into the relationship.  Metaphysically speaking, fairy tale romances and princely rescue are contradictory to the energetic rules of manifestation.  Someone who needs to be fixed or rescued is coming from the misperception that they are broken and cannot fix themselves.  (Not to pick on my Catholic upbringing, but I wonder if this is a variation of instant healing that Jesus was supposed to give me once I signed over my soul to him.  This might support the idea that we do not need to do anything to improve ourselves, other than wait for someone to magickally appear and do it for us.)

We can project for others to come into our lives and perform particular acts, including dialog….complimenting us, telling us how much they love us.  But, when we are so convinced that there is something fundamentally wrong with us–that we are damaged, unlovable, unlikable, unattractive, less than others in one way or another–that is our predominant energy and any other thoughtforms which are not of a similar nature will not be able to manifest or stay physically solid in our experience for very long.

Love is Love.  It’s an energy, an essence, a state of being or awareness.  It is not any act in the physical world.  It is not a compliment or an expression, in and of itself.  It is not any form.  We can channel Love into our personal awareness.  We can feel Love.  We can be aware of what it is, how it feels and how far it extends.  We can perform physical actions, expressions, and speak–all inspired from Love.  We can use triggers in the world to remind ourselves to feel Love.  We can attempt to provoke or trick others into feeling Love.

But, Love itself is a completely personal experience.  Completely individual.  When someone is in an unloving space–depressed, mourning, angry, despondent, stressed, tired, apathetic–they do not and cannot immediately resonate with that energy.  If their vibration is too far away from the vibration of Love, they will not be able to feel it.  Best bet is to try to provoke someone’s triggers (excuses, rationalizations) for feeling Love, so that they can work up their awareness to that again.  If our techniques for making someone feel loved worked, then we would have absolute control over someone else’s feelings.  Our loved ones would always be in a good mood, if we could help it.

Love doesn’t go anywhere.  It doesn’t come from anywhere.  We make up thoughts and reasons as to why we can feel it and why we cannot feel it.  We don’t work with Love directly.  We work with our personal obstacles in our awareness and allow ourselves to perceive this Universal Essence.

It doesn’t matter where the desire to feel Loved comes from.  My personal guess is that Love Itself is the essence of The Creator/Creatrix.  My personal opinion is that it is simply our natural state, our natural essence.  To want to be aware of that is simply to want to rest in our natural state.

To be human, experiencing a human lifetime on this earthly plane, we limit ourselves by hiding parts of our awareness from ourselves.  The Universe never changes–we change how much we can see at any time, what we want to be aware of.  Part of the earthly illusion is coming to false conclusions about causality and connection.  We still have the instinct to fully feel Love, but because we perceive that we are “cut off” to some degree from our Creator and the full self-experience of our personal spirits….we give causal powers to the people and the environments around ourselves, to “affect” our feelings.  In our faulty thinking, we take power away from our individual awareness and give power to the people that we have in our lives.

We often conclude that we can’t feel Love until a present, in-real-life person (or an imaginary person, who will show up in our lives at some undisclosed future time) performs certains acts–which can include anything and everything from spending time with us, giving us enough attention through specific acts, telling us very particular words (phrases or dialog) or making us cookies.

To make matters more complicated, people tie up a lot of other concepts with feeling Love, Itself.  The experience of Love is a meditative one, it is an awareness of the Energy of the Universe, Itself.  However, being as complicated as human personality is, we’ve attached other issues and ideas to this experience.  Some of us have made emotional healing equivalent to feeling loved.  Some of us have also combined sex with love in a way that we cannot feel loved until we are having sex or are with someone who would have sex with us.

The problem equating emotional wholeness with feeling loved is that there is an equal trap on all sides.  Someone who identifies as emotionally damaged is projecting their wounds and (eventual) negative expressions of those wounds as thoughtforms in their energy.   The only people who are attracted to these energies have similarly negative energies in their own energy bodies that they need to play out as well, in the forms of unhealthy relationships or interactions.  Wounded people and non-wounded people do not come together in a relationship, unless it is specifically a therapeutic one….client/patient and healer.

Best case scenario is that someone who comes in to rescue or heal a damaged personality will stay around only as long as they are able to rescue/heal.  Once the victim heals or does better, then the personal energies of the two persons are no longer compatible.  Rescuers need to rescue.  Healers need to heal.  The former rescuer will most likely leave since they cannot rescue or heal anymore.  The alternative to this will be that  their personal issues will then have that empty space to manifest in the place of the now-missing issues of the former victim–the rescuer will now take the place of the victim.

As far as equating Love with sex, this might be because of that state of Wholeness one can reach in a really good orgasm.  Even a meditative attitude towards the sex act can become a spiritual experience.  That higher awareness can be found within sex, as well as directly meditating on Love.  Complete immersion into Pleasure, abandon and leaving the mind behind are all meditative techniques.  Alternate pathways for raising awareness.  What we are not taught is that one does not need to be with another person at all in order to meditate on these same energies.  Pleasure, Abandon, Mindfulness and Meditation are all things that can be experienced in direct meditation.  Waiting for physical prompts (such as a lover is possible, but not mandatory.

Meditating and Identifying with the Universal State and Energies of Love is a more direct method of Self-Awakening.  Some metaphysicians believe that that is the point of existence, to remember our spiritual nature….the state of being Love, regardless of any and all physical circumstances.  Not all of us are in the mental space where we can meditate on the essence of awakening.  Some of us are still in the state of understanding, the belief that we must come to these happinesses and higher states only through physical experience and through the physical interaction with others.

Rather than wait until we can come to that awareness that it is the essence of the experience of Love that we want, not a particular person….in my opinion, it is more productive to move forward, even if we are stumbling.  Healing and Self-Awareness come on winding pathways.

According to some metaphysical interpretations, we have the driving instinct to experience this perfect state of being Loved.   Many of us do whatever we think we have to do, within the limitations of our personal ethical and social restraints, to feel loved by someone else.  Mixed in with that, we also naturally become attracted to those negative experiences which we associate with Love relationships.  In those negative relationships, we have the opportunity to work out those issues and negative repeating patterns that prevent us from having a satisfying experience.

Keeping these concepts in mind, I would advise the magician to throw themselves completely into any sort of Love Magick that they feel attracted to–with some conditions.  Question and mentally explore the internal motivations and possible outcomes of all desires, first and foremost.  Use every motivation, desire and intention to move forward in emotional healing.  If there is still a strong desire to work out issues through or with another person–cast any spell that you are drawn to.  One theory is that spells involving other people only manifest if all parties’ guardian spirits and guiding consciousness see benefit from the physical or energetic manifestation of the spell.

An important factor to be aware of is that in the manifest universe, there is always opportunity for expansion of consciousness and self-empowerment in any situation.  Furthermore, any spell can only take root in one’s personal reality if they have enough compatible energy for that spell to seed in.  A curse will not affect a target who is at a very high, positive vibration…..just as a blessing will not affect someone who is at a very low, negative level of vibration.  Any spell of Influence can only work if there is something compatible within the recipient.  Spells do not always work, especially when there is no supporting energy in the situation.

Even if love spells do not manifest at all in changes in the physical world, it is excellent to gauge one’s personal obstacles to get insight into which energies one is actually immersed in–are they too negative?  What caused you to want to perform the spell and what is your reaction to it working or not working?  What is your relationship to the energies of Love, Joy, Pleasure and Expansion, in and of Themselves?  Are they something that you can relate to experiencing, right now?  The end results are how we are transformed as individuals–our personal, internal experience.

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Love Magick: Chaos, Truth and Other Stuff

  • Love magick is probably one of the messiest areas of magick that we have. There are so many warnings and guidelines for performing love magick. There are so many disappointments that come from spells that didn’t manifest correctly, as directed or exactly how we petitioned. In a nutshell, the magick is only reflecting the personal relationships that we have with the energies of Love, Sex, Deserving and Receiving that we all carry with us in the world. The biggest misconception is that Love Magick is manifesting a particular person who will behave in particular ways.  Love Magick is activating personal experience of particular sensations and interior experiences. Love Magick is never the problem. We already had all of the problems that we associated with Love and Sex before we started consciously focusing and asking for any manifestation, in any form of structured petition.

    The principle theory in magick is that we physically experience the events that match up with the expectations, beliefs and energies that we carry within ourselves in the forms of thoughts and feelings.

    If we experienced the emotions and concepts associated with a loving relationship, we would already have a loving relationship manifest in the physical world around us. It is one thing to want or desire such a relationship. The magickal idea is to experience everything associated with it on a mental and emotional level….completely internal….REGARDLESS (and before) of what is happening in the material world.

    Despite all excuses, reasons and justifications–this is how magick works. Magickal workings are just a conscious application of the principles that describe how personal reality already works. Even if someone never studied magick, under the metaphysical principles, they are still manifesting their world….albeit non-consciously.

    Rather than just shooting for manifesting a physical relationship–set up a Love Altar to experience the different energies that come in a love relationship. Focus on essence before form.  Consider this the preliminary work before the manifestation of a physical form or situation.

    Create an altar working with the imagery and symbols of Venus, the Heart Chakra or anything else that you associate with Love energies. Steer away from images of people. You are focusing on the energies to begin with. Any stones, symbols, tools are completely acceptable as long as they bring a personal association with the energies of Love, in some form.

    To begin, make a list of all of the general concepts that are associated with being in a loving relationship. This is personal. There are no right or wrong answers.

    Perhaps, keep in mind that when we fantasize about our ideal relationships, we often use them as a catch-all for all of the other relationships that are possible to experience in Life….we look for experience of Divine Love, Sexual Satisfaction, Acceptance, Validation, Comfort, Peace, Fulfillment….even if something doesn’t seem logical to you, put it down–work with it, anyway.

    Once you have your list, perhaps make some flashcards or notecards, with each concept on its own. This will make it easier for meditation and focus. Taking for example, Divine Love–place the notecard in a prominent place. Somewhere that you will be able to bring your attention back to the term, in case you lose your concentration. If you would like, add any objects to your altar that can represent Divine Love for your meditation. The practical work is that you are going to play with the intensity to which and the length of time that you can feel Divine Love–not only during formal meditation time, but also throughout the normal day.

    The attitude during meditation/energy work is not to feel like you are clocking in practice hours. The idea is to see how fully you can experience these energies with all of your senses, to the limitations of your senses….and beyond…over time. Coming back to our example, cast circle or prepare the space in any way which feels appropriate.

    Allow yourself to center and breathe deeply. Become aware that Divine Love is omnipresent. Your experience of this energy is dependent on your mental acceptance of any sensory experience that corresponds to this concept. Which correspondences confirm the conviction you feel Divine Love? What does your body feel like when you are Divinely Loved? Which sensations are in your physical form? Which feeling-sensations are in each one of your chakras?–go through each one. What does each chakra feel like when you are Divinely Loved? Go through all of the energy bodies, depending on the system that makes sense to you–Emotional, Mental or more. Feel whichever sensations correspond to you knowing that you are Divinely Loved. What is your mental dialog when you know that you are Divinely Loved? What passes through your head? Which interactions do you have in the world? Which conversations and interactions do you have with others, when you know that you are Divinely Loved? How do you carry yourself? How do you project yourself in the world?

    Go through each of the other qualities on your list. Take note of which changes, internal and worldly, that take place as you continue this exercise.

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